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gasolinerainbowpuddles · 1 year ago

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A Weight Off Your Shoulders ║ ⒸⓄⓁⓁⒺⒸⓉⒾⓄⓃⓈ

| A WEIGHT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS | part of the A Weight Off Your Shoulders collection ║ series masterlist ║ main masterlist ║ | PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x plus sized!fem!neighbor

| RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 7.0k | CONTENT: age gap (Joel mid 40s, neighbor late 20s), cheating, negative body image, negative self-talk, discussions of body image struggles, the savagery of puberty, but mostly just indulgent pussy worship lmao, etc.

| SYNOPSIS: [AU no outbreak] After finding out your fiance was cheating on you with the younger, skinnier intern at his work, you pack up and head home to Texas where you meet your friendly DILF neighbor Joel. He doesn’t seem to mind your fuller physique, but you’re still plagued with insecurities that have followed you for most of your life. Can he make you forget about all that for just a moment or will you stay wracked with self-conscious, negative thoughts? Spoiler: We all know Joel is a smooth talker and is down to do whatever it takes to convince you that you’re perfect just the way you are.

✧this is the first installment of a oneshot collection✧ ✧◦◦║ Part 2 ║ Part 3 ║ Part 4 ║ Part 5 ║ Part 6 ║◦◦✧

The moving van’s AC went out about 75 miles ago, and you can’t bother getting too upset about it. It goes right along with the absolute dogshit spectacle your life has become. The sweat trickles down your back as you keep your eyes focused on the road. The GPS says it’s not too much longer. Your ass is sore from sitting and driving all day, for the past three days.

It should’ve been two at most - more like one and a half at even a leisurely pace - but the engine had started smoking and making an awful clicking sound somewhere in between Colorado and Oklahoma. You waited 6 hours for the moving truck company to meet you and switch out vehicles. At least the van hadn’t gone up in flames and destroyed all your messily packed cardboard boxes.

The string of down-on-your-luck events provided you with some sort of distraction from the reason you were cooped up in this incinerator of a vehicle and heading home to Texas where your parents still lived, a far cry from the life you had carved out with your fiance - ex-fiance, you correct yourself – in Colorado.

Ah, yes. Mike. Michael, you think to yourself bitterly. He always hated whenever anyone used his full name instead of his nickname. You were at that level of petty, insulting him in any way that you could. You knew you’d never get close to matching his efforts at hurting you, though.

It had been a great relationship for the first few years. You had met him at his job where you were logging unpaid internship hours so you’d have something to put on your resume when you graduated with your finance degree. Math and economics had always been easy and interesting to you, although it didn’t make you very popular at parties.

Mike– No, MICHAEL, had been sweet and teased you about how you were “too cute” to be an accountant. You had thought to yourself on numerous occasions that accountants could really use a PR overhaul. Most of your coworkers were nerdy introverts with a dark sense of humor and a penchant for getting ripshit wasted after The Hellfire Summit was over. (That’s what you all called Tax Day.)

But you weren’t “too cute” to be an accountant. Too cute for Michael, maybe, but definitely not some knockout. You had always been on the heavier side starting in middle school. You were vertically challenged, which meant there was a lot less real estate for any additional poundage you racked up through puberty. Your mom had done her best to not give you a complex, but you weren’t stupid and it wasn’t hard to figure out why she was so insistent on you being in sports throughout most of the year. You had taken to soccer pretty quickly, and the endless running kept your weight from climbing into absolute fat pig territory. Not that you didn’t think of yourself that way regardless.

While all your other teammates cried about their boobs not growing - something you had absolutely no way of relating to - you cursed the puberty gods for not giving you a growth spurt of 6” so you could be tall and lean like your friends. By the time college rolled around, you just stuck to running as a stress reliever, but it wasn’t the same level of activity that had kept you smaller throughout high school. The bathtub jungle juice frat parties and 2 am pizza slices didn’t really help matters, either. You put on a respectable “freshman 8,” but your hips and ass delivered it as more of a “freshman 23.”

Michael always talked about how he liked “somebody that didn’t just order a salad,” whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. You didn’t pay it much mind, though, when your sex life was pretty good together. He made you come more than other guys you’d been with, but it wasn’t hard to exceed expectations when the bar was so low it was in hell. And yet, Michael had found a way to sink it down ever farther.

You should’ve seen it coming. In hindsight it was so painfully obvious that something had changed for the worse. You had chalked it up to him getting nerves after FINALLY proposing to you. You were so happy when he finally asked you to marry him. Even his 15 year old son from a previous relationship had made a remark about his dad “finally growing some balls” and proposing.

A wash of sadness rolled over you at the thought of Ethan. He was such a good kid, and you had become attached to him after being with Michael for so many years. You’d moved in together, and Ethan thoughtfully cleared off a shelf of his video game things so that you’d have a nice spot in the living room for some of your DVDs and books. How on earth that was the child of the piece of shit cheating scumbag Michael was beyond you. Ethan must have taken after his mother more than you previously knew.

Michael had been married before and had Ethan with his ex-wife Patty. They had just “grown apart” as he’d put it. They got together when they were young, and it wasn’t until his 38th birthday party that he realized they just weren’t meant for each other anymore.

You’d been upset at first to learn that Michael had started seeing you before he had “made it official” with Patty that things were over. You weren’t into the idea of being the other woman, and you didn’t blame Patty for hating your guts. Of course she would assume that you knew they were still married and that they had a young son together. You were the homewrecker whore, and it was humiliating to tag along to family events where Patty and some of their mutual friends gave you a not-so-subtle stink eye.

The friends that did readily accept you weren’t exactly top of the line human beings. Luke had clapped you on the back once after having three too many beers and cackled about how he knew Michael wasn’t crazy for switching things up and breaking things off with Patty “for you.” When you shrugged his sloppy hand off your shoulder and asked what the fuck he was on about, his shit eating grin was the icing on the cake when he slurred, “Well’ya knowwwwww what’hey say, dontcha?” You shook your head, nonplussed and not really interested in learning “what they say.” He giggled and leaned in close when he revealed that “gotta be takin’ care’uhhh him ‘cause they say thah big girls give’thuh bes head ‘cuz they’re al-huways hungry.”

Trevor had intervened before you slammed your mojito into Luke’s Neanderthal brain. “Hey man, fuck off. Don’t be saying shit like that. Fuckin’ rude, dude.” Luke had made a fuss about how he was “jusss jok-eeen,” but Trevor wasn’t having it. “Whatever, man. Everybody knows you don’t go around talking about girl’s bodies, you fucking idiot. And you’re watching too much porn if you think she’s fat. She’s normal, man. Real women aren’t walking around like stick figures with tits and ass glued on.”

You groaned while Luke howled with laughter at Trevor’s defense of you. Calling you fat was somehow worse than big girl. Luke hadn’t said fat. Trevor hadn’t either, but his off the cuff remark that clarified what “type of big” you obviously were only drove home the idea that you took up too much space, one way or another.

Michael had taken a while to propose, and he always claimed that, while he loved you with his whole entire heart, he was nervous about getting married a second time. He started getting snippier with you and not wanting to have sex as often. His job was stressful, and he had been working tons of overtime to help pay for his part of the wedding. Thank god you kept your finances separate and never actually did walk down that aisle.

His late nights at the office were verified by his bigger paychecks, and you didn’t have a reason to be suspicious. You did think it was a little strange when he started getting up early to go to the gym so he’d “look nice for the wedding.” But hey, what a breath of fresh air, right? A man being the one concerned about how he was going to look in his wedding photos? Hitting the gym at an ungodly hour just to shed a few pounds? It was kinda like some weird form of feminist allyship, subverting societal body expectations. Right?

When you popped in to surprise him with a late dinner at work one night - you still had your keycard from your unpaid internship that nobody had remembered to disable – you found him balls deep in the tiny little blonde you later learned was the daughter of some higher up in the company that was “following in his footsteps at the company with an internship.”

Michael was such an uncreative asshole that he couldn’t even come up with a different meetcute for the leggy, fit blowup doll he’d replaced you with. At first you were enraged, but that quickly dissolved into despair. You were supposed to be getting married in 8 months. He was supposed to be the love of your life. You had wasted your 20s on this piece of shit, waiting around like a moron for him to decide he wanted to spend his life with you.

So here you were, sweating your ass off, moving your shit several states away, and starting at square one. The dark, moody sky made you roll your eyes. You figuratively and literally had a little black cloud over your head that followed you everywhere. If the impending bad turn of weather could just hold off for a little bit, you could get your “FIRST NIGHT IN NEW PLACE” box unpacked and inside unscathed.

Of course it started pouring buckets about 5 minutes after you’d parked the van in the driveway of your rental. Your new home. Where you lived by yourself. Alone. That’s all you were now. Alone. You dragged in your soggy cardboard box of necessities, only unpacking your phone charger before plopping down on the bare mattress your parents had been nice enough to drop off before your arrival.

You spend the first night at your place crying yourself to sleep.

Texas had gotten hotter since you’d left. No way was it always this hot. You used to play outdoor sports here, for chrissakes. There was no way on earth it had always been the same temperature as Satan’s ballsack in a pair of wool underwear. Maybe it’s hotter because you’re fatter than before your inner voice suggested. You were drenched in sweat by the time 11am rolled around and you’d finished unpacking your small collection of belongings. You never realized how much of your Colorado apartment was mainly Michael’s stuff until you had to clear all your shit out for the move. Humble beginnings, I guess you think to yourself.

Your tank top stuck to your drenched back, and your thighs were slightly chaffed from the hard rub of denim over and over while you moved in. Your stupid, fat thighs and the stupid, fat chubrub they gave you. That unfortunately was something that hadn’t changed about Texas. You always carried your weight in your hips and butt, and your thighs came to join the party shortly thereafter. You had gained a few pounds after dating Michael for a year or so, settling into that comfortable couple space where you sometimes go for donuts when you know you shouldn’t or indulge in breweries too many weekends in a row.

You were fat and happy together, though. Now you were just fat and sad all by yourself.

You stared at the lawnmower and imagined it bursting into a ball of flames. Your landlord had agreed to knock $100 off your rent if you mowed the lawn once a month. It was a no brainer, even if you had never mowed a lawn before. How hard could it be? Turns out, very.

You gave yourself a pep talk through figuring out how to put the gas into the stupid thing, but it had petered out into an irritated chant of “you piece of shit” and “fucking work, goddamit” when you couldn’t get it to start. You’d pulled and pulled and PULLED the stupid chord, but it wouldn’t start up. You wanted nothing more than to finish your chore and head inside before it got way too hot. You’d planned on already being finished by now. Michael had always made quick work of it, and if that room temperature IQ fuckwit could figure this out then so could you. Maybe.

When you pulled back again and nothing happened, something sort of cave woman happened in your brain, and you started kicking the mower in a fit of frustration. “FUCKING-PIECE-OF-SHIT!” you yell, accentuating each kick to the machine with a malice-laden word. When you propped your hands on your hips and took a step back to really give it a good, solid glare, you saw a man the next house over watching you with an amused look at the edge of his property.

“Need some help?” he called out, his smile growing.

“EVERYTHING’S GOING REAL FUCKING GOOD OVER HERE, BUT THANKS FOR THE OFFER,” you quip with way more acidity than this man deserved.

He took your stinging remark in stride and just smirked more. If he wasn’t so good looking you probably would’ve yelled at him for real. You needed a break and didn’t really care for your handsome neighbor to watch you fail at life, so you wordlessly stomped inside and plopped down with a bottle of water in hand. Was it too early for this water to turn into a beer? 11 am. Damn. You were pretty low these days, but you weren’t sure you wanted to take a trip down “drinking by yourself before noon” lane.

You sigh and play with the bottle cap as you try to ignore your growing embarrassment of being so rude to your hot neighbor. The sound of a lawn mower finally registers in your brain, and you scramble to the window to confirm your suspicions. Yep, there was your fine as fuck neighbor pushing your broken lawnmower around your backyard. It was definitely broken. He must have fixed it. It definitely wasn’t that you were entirely clueless about all this.

You groan and muster up some resolve before heading back outside. You wave at the absolute DILF-iest of DILFs you’ve ever seen in your life to get his attention. As though he was expecting you, he calmly turns off the engine and jerks his head up once in your direction.

“What are you doing?” you blurt out.

There’s that smile again. Damn, he must practice that in the mirror because holy shit it is very hard to think right now with him looking at you with it.

“Bein’ friendly to my new sailor-mouthed neighbor,” he drawled casually.

Goddamit. His voice was smooth and deep up close. And his hair, oh my god his hair. Peppery brown and slightly disheveled and wavy in all the right spots. And his eyes? Those puppy dog brown eyes that you thought just gave you a quick once over? You were kicking yourself for not being nicer earlier.

“Look, you don’t have to–”

“Name’s Joel Miller. What’s yours, sweetheart? And tell me quick, ‘cause I really think it might turn into Popeye if you don’t give me an alternative,” he teased.

Popeye? What on earth– Oh. Christ almighty. Right. Popeye. The “sailor man.” Because you have a “sailor mouth.” Okay, now the DILF was knocking out some dad jokes? You needed to find the box you’d packed your vibrator in that plugs into the wall after this little interaction.

“Kinda wanna tell you that you can call me whatever you want if you’ll just teach me how to turn that stupid thing on,” you say, motioning toward the traitor of a lawn mower.

“Hm, anything I want, huh? Temptin’. Maybe next time I’ll give ya a 101, but lemme just finish this up right quick.” Without giving you the chance to argue, he ripped the chord with a salivating flex of his bicep and resumed his task.

You awkwardly walked back up to your porch and tried to busy yourself with something. You didn’t want to go back inside and wait for him to finish. That’d be rude, him out in the sun doing your chores while you cooled off in the AC inside. You gave enough “lazy slob” vibes as it was. Luckily it didn’t take him much time at all to finish, and his sweaty brow was very distracting as he clambered up your steps. You had to keep your jaw shut when he pulled up the hem of his shirt to wipe it across his forehead, revealing a respectably toned middle. He was fitter than you by far. Not that that was a hard feat.

This DILF to end all DILFs had a toned body that shouldn’t have been such a surprise to you after seeing his muscular arms as they maneuvered the lawn mower. You suddenly felt self-conscious in your tank top and denim shorts. You were sure you were bulging out all over the place and looked like a sweaty pig. You hated how easy it was these days to get down on yourself, but seeing the blonde bombshell Michael had traded you for was all you could compare yourself to. The phrase “you can’t compete where you don’t compare” turned over and over in your head.

“See? Easy. Now about that name…” he trailed off, smiling now with a mischievous, friendly look.

“Oh. Yeah, um. Roxanne. But Roxy is fine,” you say.

Joel tilted his head as though he was considering how your name stacked up to how you looked, to see if it fit you or not. Heat crept up your cheeks under his gaze, and a fresh wave of insecurity engulfed you.

“Pretty,” he remarked.

“Huh?” you ask, sounding dumber by the minute.

Joel just keeps smiling at you, no matter how braindead you sound. “I said pretty. Your name’s pretty. Fits you,” he said.

You really wanted to believe this man was flirting with you, but it was wishful thinking.

“Hmm. Th-thanks. Um. Do you want money or?” you clumsily offer. You didn’t want to send him off empty handed after he just did you such a big favor.

“Two beers,” he posed.

You went inside and grabbed two cold beers from the fridge and loped back outside, extending them to Joel. He opened them both and made himself comfortable in one of your patio chairs. He set the second bottle on the arm of the chair next to him and pulled a long swig from his bottle. You watched the bob of his adams apple as he swallowed, and you knew your panties were gonna be absolutely wrecked by the time you finished your beer.

“Thanks.”

“Cheers.” He tipped his bottle towards you and leaned back, comfortable as ever as if this was his porch and not yours. “Didn’t see ya movin’ in. Musta been in the middle of the night to unpack a whole house without anybody knowin’.”

“Eh, not hard to move when you’ve got less than 20 boxes of shit,” you shrug.

Joel’s eyebrows pinched together in confusion. He clearly hadn’t been thinking you’d come into your new place with bare bones belongings. Someone your age would have at least a few pieces of bigger furniture and a couple of boxes of niche hobbies.

“Rest of it comin’ later, or…?”

“Nope. That’s it. Just me and my less than 20 boxes and a piece of shit lawnmower.”

Joel chuckled, and you found yourself giving him a small, shy smile.

“So you the neighborhood watch captain? Keep tabs on all the fresh meat?”

He laughed like heading up a community group was as likely for him as you figuring out that lawn mower by yourself.

“No quite. Just didn’t realize I had a new neighbor, is all. No car in the driveway. House has been up for rent for a few months,” he explained.

“Oh, yeah. I had a moving van, but I had to turn it back in to them a few days ago unless I wanted to pay for more days. They gave me a ride back. My parents are supposed to let me use one of their cars.”

You and Joel chatted back and forth about the neighborhood, how you’d grown up here and were now back - although you dutifully omitted the reason why - and what you did for work. When he told you he worked in construction with his brother in their small family business, it made a lot of sense. No wonder he was so toned.

Joel actually laughed when you told him you were an accountant. He didn’t believe you at first. When you started citing federal tax law addendums, he held his hands up in mock surrender. You laughed at his teasing. It felt nice to just interact with somebody without having to talk about your recent breakup and all the hard changes you’d been navigating.

“Should make you the poster girl for accountants because damn if I don’t imagine a blue haired lady sportin’ a big pink cardigan and goofy lookin’ glasses whenever I hear the word ‘accountant.’ You’d be the perfect brand image overhaul, sweetheart.” He chuckled, and you did your best to not think about how Michael had once told you that you were “too cute to be an accountant.”

“So, you got an accountant helping with your family business? Or are you just cookin’ the books?” you joke.

Joel rubbed the back of his neck with a nervous laugh. “Nah, we got some somebody at H&R whatever, but the bigger we get the more it seems they wanna charge. Lots of confusin’ shit with all kinds of tax laws. Wouldn’t know if we were gettin’ ripped off by ‘em, if I’m bein’ honest.”

You weren’t sure why you offered. Maybe because he had been kind enough to offer you help and then mow your lawn for you even though you had been an ass. Regardless, you offered to look over some documents and paperwork if he really wanted another set of eyes on it. You dismissed him with the wave of a hand when he started talking about paying you for it.

“Two beers is my rate, Joel,” you say with feigned solemnity.

“Two beers? You drive a hard bargain, sweetheart. I know you’re worth it, though. You free this weekend? Saturday mornin’?”

And that’s how you ended up with plans to help Joel go over his company’s financial information in two days time when Saturday rolled around.

Joel was singing your praises when you’d already found two instances where they could save some money by changing a few boxes on their taxes and getting things more streamlined with a different organization method for W2’s. You had applied for a few jobs in the area, but most of your pending applications were for virtual jobs that you could work from home. It was good to keep up practice in the meantime.

Joel made you lunch - a nice turkey sandwich with cheddar cheese. He’d mistakenly offered provolone, which you’d chosen, only to find that he had run out and could only offer cheddar instead. You teased him about being an awful host, but really you were glad to not have your favorite cheese on the sandwich because it would help you not eat as fast in front of him.

You hated feeling like this. You’d spent so many years of puberty pacing your bites with those around you, afraid to eat faster than everyone else. Nobody even gave a shit. You were just so terrified of being humiliated for being the plus sized girl who got that way in the first place because she inhales her food.

“You always eat like a baby bird?” Joel questioned through a large bite of his own sandwich.

“Only when I’m trying to concentrate on taxes and finances,” you lied with a fake giggle. You felt like Joel clocked your put-on nonchalance, but he thankfully didn’t say anything even if he had.

You tugged at the bottom of your shirt, pulling it away from your stomach. You caught Joel watching you do this, but again, he didn’t comment.

He did, however, raise a brow when you insisted you were “too full” to finish the entire sandwich. He played it off with a “damn, you really wanted provolone, huh?” You stuck your tongue out at him but dropped the playful demeanor the second he took the plates to the kitchen. Of course you were still hungry, but you weren’t going to gorge yourself in front of your super attractive neighbor. It wouldn’t kill you to cut a few calories here and there anyway, that familiar voice in your head points out.

Stupid, fat thighs the voice adds quickly, helpful as always.

You’re quick to adopt a smile when Joel comes back, but you aren’t sure you were quick enough for him to have missed the sad, fat, and alone girl’s real expression before flipping the switch.

It’s Saturday number two of your pro bono accounting skills. Well, it was actually a Thursday since Joel had some construction something or other this Saturday, but every day was a weekend when you were unemployed.

You had already hung out with Joel three times this past week and shared a few celebratory beers over your work from home job offer that you’d accepted and would be starting next week. Conversation came easy with Joel. He talked about his daughter, who was away at school for the semester, and you realized he must feel very lonely without her home. At least you could relate to him on that level.

You tell him the reason for your move back to your home town. He actually seemed genuinely pissed off when you told him Michael was cheating on you with a pretty little blonde thing and had been for months. You scoffed when Joel said it was Michael’s loss to have fumbled a girl like you.

“Hey,” he asserted, making you pause from the sip of beer you were about to have. “I’m serious. He’s a dumbass for havin’ let you slip through his fingers. You’re funny and smart and got a good head on your shoulders. Sure, you can’t figure out a lawn mower, but we can’t all be perfect.” His goofy grin was a sweet little addition to his playful teasing.

Maybe it was the beer talking, but you couldn’t hold back. “Yeah, well. There’s something you left out of that list there, and it’s probably the reason he did cheat on me.”

Joel shook his head in confusion. He wasn’t sure what he had left out.

You laughed hollowly to yourself, swirling your beer mindlessly as you spoke. “Funny. Smart. Good head on my shoulders. But not pretty, right? Not attractive. Not skinny enough.”

Joel’s expression shifted into something sympathetic and warm, and you hated yourself for having just let that word vomit happen.

“To be honest, sweetheart, I didn’t wanna say anythin’ that might make you uncomfortable. But I can give you a list a mile long with all the things that are beautiful about you. Inside and out.”

You flush at his appeal to your assets, but you know he’s just being nice. You were pathetic. You were going through a breakup from a relationship that had ended because your fiance was shoving his dick into his coworker. Of course Joel was going to try to boost your self-esteem and give you compliments.

When you didn’t respond, Joel placed his large, warm hand over yours. You looked at it and up to him. He grazed his other hand, a ghost of a curve against your cheek, like he wanted nothing more than to stroke your face and cradle your neck while he drew you into a long kiss and grabbed at your—

No. No he wasn’t. He was just being nice.

“I mean it. That prick is gonna look back and regret losin’ you.”

You wished you could believe him.

When Joel brought you a turkey sandwich for lunch on your second day of helping him, he made sure to point out the provolone. “Got it special for my girl, huh?”

Your tummy flipped at the way he called you his girl, but it was just another one of his terms of endearment that he probably used with everyone. He’d called you angel, sugar, honey, sweetheart, and even Popeye a couple of times. It didn’t mean anything. You weren’t special.

When you pushed your half eaten sandwich away, Joel set his down and waited for you to look at him.

“You don’t like it?” he asked.

“No, it’s great. Thanks for the provolone, by the way. You didn’t have to do that. Really. I’ll um, I’ll just save the rest for later. I’m good for right now.”

Joel’s jaw clenched from side to side before he leaned over in the chair next to you.

“Darlin’, you should eat somethin’. Half a sandwich ain’t shit.”

You shrugged and insisted you weren’t hungry. Joel chewed his cheeks against his molars for a moment before adjusting in his chair and leaning in even closer than before.

“This about that asshole? Messin’ with that blonde?”

You froze at his words. You heart was about to leap out of your chest.

“N-No,” you lie. “I, um, I’m not sure what you mean, Joel.”

“What I mean is you got the idea that you’re not beautiful. That you can’t compare.”

You took a deep swallow to clear the lump in your throat. Your eyes were getting a little blurry. Dammit, you really didn’t want to cry in front of Joel. Not over this stupid bullshit.

“Just leave it, Joel,” you mumble, turning your attention back to the papers on the table.

“Not gonna do that, sweetheart,” he said firmly.

When you looked back at him, there was a dark hunger in his eyes. His usually lax, friendly features were drawn into a stony scowl.

“I meant what I said the other day. You’re beautiful. Everythin’. Everythin’ about you is beautiful.”

“Look, I appreciate you being nice and trying to make me feel better, but you don’t have to–”

“You think I’m lyin’?” he challenged. You swallow hard at his commanding tone, and his words went straight to your pussy. You shook your head, feeling a little more convinced Joel might not be embellishing his opinion of you.

“Jus’ … Hard to think of myself that way, after…” You want to tell Joel every last detail of your life. Every time someone made you feel like you were eating too fast. Every time your friends got flirted with in the mall while you quietly hung at the back of the group. Every time you put something back on the rack after seeing how it accentuated the shape of your body too much to be a cute garment anymore.

Joel turned and was now angled directly at you with a knee tucking itself between your legs. His sinewy, large arm crossed your chest, his hand firmly planting onto the arm of your chair. He dipped his mouth right next to your ear. “You give me the word, sweetheart. Gimme the green light, and I’ll show you just how gorgeous I think you are.”

You’d been here before. The guy begging to show you a good time but only ever ending as a hookup. You were never girlfriend material, but you were a warm, round body for them to get their rocks off for the night. You knew Joel was different. He wasn’t like that. But you still can’t bring yourself to say yes.

“Tell me,” you whisper. Joel pulled back to look at your face. “Just your words.”

“After you let me kiss those sweet lips of yours?” he countered. You nod yes. It was only a kiss.

Joel stood and grabbed your hand, leading you to the couch. He tried to pull you onto his lap, but you knew he’d change his mind about all of this the second your too heavy body crushed his.

He tilts your chin for you to look at him after you sit. His eyes searched for any hesitation or unease. You can’t handle another rejection, so you lean forward. Joel meets you halfway and presses the gentlest of kisses against your mouth. It was feather light in a way that conveyed an intent to go slow rather than a hesitant partner.

His tongue gently flicks against your bottom lip, and you swallow a moan as you let him in. The kiss is agonizing in its slow, mindful pace as Joel makes no rush of exploring every part of your mouth. You suddenly feel very needy. You haven’t been kissed like this in a very long time. You pull at Joel’s shirt, dragging him on top of you as you lay back on the couch. His broad chest easily envelops you, and his large hands twitch with restraint to not smooth over every inch of you.

His grip tightens around your waist as he delves into a hungrier kiss. When he pulls back to adjust his body parallel to yours, the sight of your reddened mouth and blown out pupils almost have him crumbling into you.

“Tell me,” you breathe. “I just-I just want to feel pretty.” You curse the goblin part of your brain that tacked that pathetic sounding plea onto the end of your comment.

“Want me to start slow or you want me to tell you exactly what comes to mind?” he questioned with a flick of his tongue against your earlobe before drawing it into his mouth and sucking.

“Ohhh–ssh-shit– the s-second one,” you manage.

Joel’s deep chuckle sends goosebumps all over your body.

“Thinkin’ ‘bout the first time we met. Wanted you even then. Kept thinkin’ about us sittin’ on your porch. The way you were holdin’ onto that beer bottle? All I could do was imagine how your pretty fingers would look wrapped around my cock,” he murmured into the shell of your ear. “Bringin’ it to those pouty little lips of yours. Goddamn I thought about your tongue on me, baby. Takin’ me in real good in your mouth. Lickin’ this cock that gets hard just for you. That wet, warm mouth just for me.”

Your breath hitches in between Joel’s incredibly specific and detailed account.

“And when you were havin’ that little spitfire spell’uh yours, kickin’ the lawn mower?” he continued, earning a moan from you in half arousal and half embarrassment remembering your temper tantrum that day. “When you kicked it, your tits jiggled all in that little tank top you had on. Had to stop myself from marchin’ over right then and there and shovin’ my dick right in between ‘em and fuckin’ ‘em.”

You would’ve rubbed your thighs together just for the friction right now, but Joel had slotted himself in between your legs and was pushing his hard-on against your clothed pussy in a teasing grind that was driving you insane. Your hips canted at the hint of contact.

“Sittin’ in those cute little cutoffs,” he groaned low. “Your thighs spreadin’ on the seat. Wanted to grab you up and make my face your new seat, baby. Wanted those thighs on either side of my face while you rubbed your pretty little cunt all over my mouth.”

“J-Jesus christ,” you whimper. This man was giving you the dirtiest play by play of all the ways he’d envisioned himself exploring your body. Your pussy had already bottomed out by the time he got to the part about the lawn mower.

“‘N I jus’ know, baby, I just know it. Know your pussy is made to take this cock, baby. I know it’s perfect. Know it tastes so fuckin’ sweet. Know I’d fuck you ‘til you couldn’t think straight. Make you come on my cock over and over.”

Okay, maybe you could let him do more than just describe how much he wants you.

“‘N then after I work my tongue over you, ‘n after you take this cock so good, I’d grab you up, all to myself. Soft skin against mine. So soft, baby. Pull you in close and never let go. Press you right against me, hold you all night, cuddle up real close. Then wake you up with my dick hard against your perfect ass and fuck into that sweet little hole all over again.”

“Joel,” you whine.

“Hhmmm?” he drawled innocently, but you could feel his smile against your skin.

“I-I think I changed my mind. About telling me and not showing me. I think that, um, I think I’d really like for you to show me h-how much you want me,” you mumble against his cheek.

“S’that right, honey? You want a little show n tell now?” he teased. For good measure he rocked himself against the apex of your thighs, causing your hips to jerk up involuntarily to meet the movement. He chuckled at your eager change of heart.

Joel wasted no time nibbling and sucking your neck and his hands snaked up your shirt and under your bralette. The pads of his thumbs circle your pebbled nubs, and you let out a choked sigh. He shoved your clothing off with a few tugs and stopped to marvel at your bare top half. “God, even better than I imagined.”

His greedy eyes raked over every inch of you, a reverential gaze at your curvy figure. Heat spread between your legs when he dipped his mouth to your chest, leaving a wet trail with his tongue and lips in a freeform pattern before drawing your erect nipples between his teeth. Your back curved off the couch in a jerk at the delightful tease.

His hands covered large swaths of your abdomen where he enthusiastically massaged and kneaded into your flesh like he couldn’t grab enough of it at once. You lifted your hips when he pulled your shorts and panties off, and you would’ve been self-conscious about being completely nude while Joel was still fully dressed if you hadn’t seen the way his eyes glazed over with want as he absorbed the sight of you.

“Goddamn,” he breathed. “So pretty. Been wantin’ to drink this pussy from the first time I saw you.” His eyes flitted up to your face with a degree of effort as though he had to tear his gaze away from your heavenly body. He searched your features, checking in and making sure you still wanted this. You nod in consent, and no sooner is his tongue lapping between your folds.

You fist a handful of his hair at the overwhelming feeling of wet heat against you, and Joel groans in a deliciously lewd way that takes you even closer to the limit. He lathes against your heat with the fervor of a devout addict, and you come with a slamming jolt when he simultaneously slips two large fingers into you and sucks your clit.

“There’s my girl,” he coos, working you with a steady drag and push of his fingers as you come down from your high. “Knew you’d look so fuckin’ pretty comin’ undone, baby.” Your first orgasm quickly rolled into a second when Joel drove a third finger into you with a steady thrust. You cry out, clenching around the painfully sweet stinging stretch of his fingers.

You grab desperately at the tent in his pants. “S’about you today, baby,” he murmured into your thigh where he’s planting slow, sweet kisses.

“Please, Joel. Want to see you. Taste you,” you rasp out, still pulsing weakly around his digits. You groan when he pulls his fingers from you and laps all the glistening slick from them before standing in front of you. You sit up in a rush, eager to see more of him. He obliges and unfastens his jeans. His impressively thick

length made you gasp when he sprang it free from his underwear. You don’t hesitate to fit as much of him into your mouth as you can, and he lets out a satisfied hum when his tip nudges the back of your throat.

“Shit, I’m gonna come, baby,” he croaked. Apparently working you over had done a number on him already, and it made you want him even more. You wordlessly released him in a sloppy, wet pop from your mouth and tilt your head back, stroking his length with one hand and fondling his balls with the other. When his breathing picks up and he’s on the edge, you stick your tongue out expectantly and continue to fist him until his hips stutter and jerk, his spend cascading onto your cheeks, lips, and tongue.

You both just sprawled out on the couch like two chalk outlines haphazardly jutting into odd angles on pavement. You giggled when Joel asked you if you believed him now, and you said he had indeed made a believer out of you.

That was the first night you stayed over his place, and just like he had told you earlier that day, he scooped you in close to him, cuddling and shamelessly grabbing at your belly, thighs, and anywhere else he could reach while he peppered the back of your neck with kisses. It was the first time in a very long time that you didn’t once think about how much space you took up.

This one’s for all my baddie thickies out there!

I have hope that one day Miss Thickums® will come to love on herself a bit more because she deserves it, dammit. Also that and the fact that I get down bad for a lil Rubenesque cutie ha ha.

I hope y’all liked this little pairing! I have been working on Endless Night and Feral Woman but couldn’t get this idea out of my head so I just churned it out. I’m a sucker for fluff and praise, so this was a nice detour from my heavier series (but you should def go check those out too lmao).

I have so many more ideas for this pairing. I just know that AU friendly DILF neighbor Joel Miller has always been a “more cushion for the pushin” kinda guy and would love to nibble every pudgy roll on your body. His favorite spot is your lil muffin top. That’s my headcannon, and I won’t hear any differing opinions.

Let me know if y’all want more from these two. :)

Catch ya later,

♥Puddles♥

#fic: a weight off your shoulders #joel miller #joel miller x plus size reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #tlou fic #joel miller hbo #the last of us fanfiction #oneshots

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1425fivefive · 1 month ago

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say more about this professional poker era... im fascinated

i played poker full-time for two years right after undergrad. i'm (1) extremely competitive and (2) really good at hyperfixating on things, and i just became ... obsessed with poker lmao. it was a weird lifestyle, though, because i tried to play when there were a lot of fish (people who will gamble a lot and are bad at poker), so i often rocked up to the casino at like 5 pm and played until midnight. i also basically lived at the casino on weekends because that's when a lot of rec players show up who have $1k to $5k to burn and no idea what they're doing

i actually made decent money, but i burned out on it eventually because of the casino environment. at the time i was 21/22 and was almost always the only woman at a table. i experienced truly the most insane sexual harassment, like guys following me to my car and harassing me after taking down big pots. and those same guys were so nice to me when i first sat down at the table because they always thought i had no idea what i was doing, like genuinely putting money into the pot as a "donation" to me. but then i'd win a hand and they'd be so pissed lol

i went to grad school in the end and now only play recreationally (i play locally and go to vegas a few times a year). i definitely think about going back to it sometimes. like there's a ton of stress to it because your cash flow is really unpredictable because sometimes luck is just not with you, even if poker is largely about skill, and it's sort of impossible to have normal work hours. but you're your own boss and i honestly adore poker so ... sometimes i'm tempted! but yeah, it's not a lifestyle imo for most people, especially women

(if you're familiar with poker, i mostly play a mixture of 2/5 NLH and tournaments)

also if anyone wants to watch a woman do, like, very well at this year's world series of poker main event, here's a link

#about me i guess lol #poker era #asks

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cinnamonest · 6 months ago

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I know nothing about Persona let alone Goro Akechi but after reading the bsf and yan profile post I want to give this man a hug (and my tits). His story seems so sad ;-; and he's so pretty and for what?? 💢

Honestly, as much as I enjoy genshin I never truly found it to have any meaningful or extremely well written characters (which is not a bad thing, I just can't take them seriously when they all look like that lmao). All credit to making me think twice about them goes to writers and artists in the fandom. So the change in content feels soooooo nice. Made me appreciate your writing in another way

I've heard about Persona a LOT for years, but I didn't have a huge drive to play it until your liveposting (p.s I love the LP so much) and especially the posts with that one insane policeman guy who is a loser (affectionate, also giving him my pussy). Any recs? 😅

HE IS MY BABY BOY you're so right he is so pretty 😖😖😖 Akechi is genuinely an excellently written character, and Persona 5 Royal is one of the few games I think fully deserves to be so hyped as it is.

Tbh I think the problem genshin and similar games has is that there's so many characters, you have to essentially go out of your way to dig into lore to get anything beyond surface level from them. This happens a lot in series with lots of characters — like with Danganronpa for example, your experience of a lot of characters completely changes upon playing their free time events. A lot of genshin characters get very little screen time on the main story, so all their characterization is in their quests, lines, and character profile content. Which to be fair, with a game of this nature that's kinda the only way to really do it, so, I'm just glad they give us that extra content tbh. I've played some gachas that would introduce new characters but give very little beyond a design and name which is kinda sad when you want to know more about the lil guy you're playing with.

But AAAAAAAAAAAAAA thank you so much anon I am going to ramble here, but I'll put a tl;dr at the bottom!

Soooo if you want to get into Persona, I'd recommend the series in a certain order with some notes. There's 5 main entries in the series and a lot of spinoffs.

A word of advice in general with marathoning a game series: with any series it's a good idea to play in order of chronological and thus technological progression, especially if you intend to play the series back to back, otherwise going from a more recent game to an older one can damper your experience due to the decrease in graphical quality, gameplay smoothness, and general content quantity.

However for this series, the ideal order to play really depends on the factors of 1) which version of Persona 3 you choose to play, and 2) if you want to play Persona 1 & 2.

Regarding Persona 1 and 2: These are some of those games where your enjoyment will strongly depend on whether or not you're a person who is okay with some of the frustrations, limitations and slowness/jankiness common to old games (they came out between 1996-1999). I know some people don't mind or see it as a sort of vintage charm, while others get very frustrated with that — if you're the latter, I'd recommend saving yourself the frustration and skipping them, but if you like old games or have a high tolerance for jankiness, you could start here. I will also say that, even amongst the vintage/90s games fan crowd, P2 is definitely more popular and considered better than P1. It's also much better on the aforementioned issues.

Also, unless you have an original PlayStation or PSP, you'll have to emulate these.

Regarding Persona 3: there's several versions — the original came out in like 2006, then there was a remake version called P3 FES which added an epilogue (which is being added to the recent remake soon anyway), then a PSP remake called Persona 3 Portable (which has ports on modern consoles), then the most recent remake, Persona 3 Reload, came out just a few months ago in 2024.

Obviously the newest remake has vastly improved graphics and added lots of gameplay content. However, one of the biggest differences is that P3 Portable had the option to play as a female protagonist — this altered a lot of aspects of the game and is exclusive to that version (which has disappointed a lot of people hoping she'd be in the 2024 remake), so you can't play as her if you play Reload (unless, I believe, you play PC, there's a volunteer team currently making a mod for her).

Personally, I bought P3 Reload, and couldn't get into it, so I dropped it. Then I bought P3P on a whim and LOVE it so far. Getting to play as the girl protagonist makes a massive difference in my opinion, and more than compensates for the older graphics/gameplay. It's not just the romance routes either, her dialogue options, interactions, music, and overall vibe is different enough that it changes the feel of the story.

It really depends on what you value more — 2024-tier visual quality/gameplay and the epilogue, versus the Female Protagonist experience, so just pick which you prefer.

For the order thing, if you choose to play P3P (or the original/FES for whatever reason), I'd start here, but if you want to play Reload, I'd play it either last or just before P5 Royal.

Moving on, Persona 4: Golden and Persona 5: Royal are both the definitive editions of their respective games. They're remakes of the originals with a lot of added content, and unlike Persona 3, there's no reason to play the older versions over these. Notably their themes/vibes are kinda opposite of each other (big city world-scale societal rebellion versus small rural town murder mystery), I wouldn't say either story is better or worse, they're not really comparable and more a matter of personal taste.

As for the stories, admittedly if you've read my posts, you've essentially already been spoiled on the identity of the killers, but honestly it's still worth experiencing the story, there's multiple big plot twists before and after the reveals regarding Akechi/Adachi.

I would play Persona 5 Royal last, largely because it's widely considered the best entry to the series and is by far the longest. However if you only intend to play one game, it should definitely be P5 Royal. The only real flaw to P5 is it's much easier than previous games.

From here, there's a few more spinoff games, whether or not you want to play them really just depends on if you enjoy the genre. There's a bit of lore in some of them but nothing critical.

Dancing All Night/Starlight/Moonlight - dancing rhythm games

Arena Ultimax - fighting game, acts as an epilogue to P3&4

Persona Q 1&2

These are Nintendo DS spinoffs with chibi style art. I haven't played these and admittedly don't know much about them, I think they're dungeon crawler genre? It's popular for the aspect of which it involves the characters of the different main games, so you get to see them interact with each other.

The downside is that these games are oddly expensive, I think because there weren't too many copies. I intend to get them eventually.

Persona 5 Tactica/Strikers:

These are P5 spinoffs that put the cast in alternate stories, strikers is the closest to a true sequel from my understanding, tactica is more of a dungeon-crawler. I didn't get them because Akechi isn't in strikers and is just minor dlc for tactica.

The Phantom X

This is upcoming I believe, it's going to be a mobile game with a new cast.

The TL;DR of my advice:

- Play P2 only if you're into vintage gaming

- Play P1 only if you're REALLY into vintage gaming

- Play Persona 3 Portable if you really value the female protagonist/male character romance experience, otherwise play Persona 3 Reload

- If you play the original Persona 3, FES, or P3 Portable: start with that, then P4 Golden, then P5 Royal

- If you play Persona 3 Reload: play P4 Golden FIRST, then both P5 Royal and P3 Reload in either order.

- Play the spinoffs just based on what type of games you like, if any.

#p5 arena ultimax when....#i NEED akechi and adachi to interact please #they would DESPISE each other and it would be so funny

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gunsatthaphan · 1 year ago

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~ Monthly BL Breakdown: August 2023 ~

🕶️ Happy September!!! 🌻

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post!

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Stay Still - August 1st (Hong Kong) 🌟 Sing My Crush - August 2nd (South Korea) 🌟 The New Employee (movie version) - August 3rd (South Korea) 🌟 Love in Translation - August 5th (Thailand) 🌟 My Personal Weatherman - August 11th (Japan) 🌟 Love Class Season 2 - August 11th (South Korea) 🌟 Only Friends - August 12th (Thailand) ✅ 🌟 Dangerous Romance - August 18th (Thailand) ✅ 🌟 I Feel You Linger in the Air - August 18th (Thailand) 🌟 Friend. Boy Friend - August 19th (Thailand) 🌟 Lucky Love - August 20th (Thailand) 🌟 Casanova Begins - August 20th (Thailand) 🌟 My Universe - August 20th (Thailand) 🌟 Kiseki: Dear to Me - August 22nd (Taiwan) 🌟 My Plantito - August 23rd (Philippines) 🌟 Why R U? Korean Remake - August 24th (South Korea) 🌟 Man Suang - August 25th (Thailand, cinema release) 🌟 Firstly "Like" You (movie) - August 27th (Thailand) 🌟 Crazy Handsome Rich - August 28th (Thailand)

Monthly likes/dislikes

❣️ Only Friends - I mean. do I have to add anything lmao. that shit has me in a tight ass chokehold lmao. there are a few minor things that I wish were different but overall I'm obsessed and it's nice to have something that lives up to the hype. we don't get that very often. Thumbs in up.

👎🏻 Dangerous Romance - so far I don't like it, let's hope it gets better.

New series & movie announcements

🎥 Fermat Kitchen (manga adaption) - Date TBA (Japan)

🎥 Love Supremacy Zone - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 Blossom Campus - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 A Secret Love (starring Kimmon W. & Kut T.) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Organize The Chaos - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Iridescent Love - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Hell Guards - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Wheels and Axle (movie) - Coming November 17th (Japan)

🎥 Love For Love's Sake - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 Ambiguous (high school romance) - Coming early 2024 (South Korea)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ Actor Inn Sarin (The Miracle of Teddy Bear) joined GMMTV. ❗️ The upcoming Domundi BL Middleman's Love as well as the GMMTV adaption of Cherry Magic have commenced filming. Both shows will likely air towards the end of the year. ❗️ Over a year after its initial announcement, the upcoming BL Wish Me Luck (starring Na Naphat & Fiat Pattadon) is now in production. ❗️ The uncensored Chinese BL Stay With Me was renewed for a second season. Further details are unknown.

❗️The Korean BL manhwa The Art of Taming a Tiger is getting a Korean synchronization/dub. Mingyu (Boys Planet), Lee Minwook (My Magic Closet), OBON (BOYS24) & Han Gi Chan (Where Your Eyes Linger) were announced as the main voice actors.

❗️The 2014 Thai BL Love Sick is getting a remake that is scheduled for 2024, marking the 10 year anniversary of the production. The show was Thailand's first mainstream BL and is considered a classic and a milestone in the industry. The remake will be produced by the company Tia51. Further details are unknown.

❗️The GMMTV BLs The Eclipse and Moonlight Chicken won Best LGBTQ+ Programs Made in Asia at this year's Content Asia Awards. ❗️ The period BL Man Suang (starring Mile Phakphum and Apo Nattawin) has made history as the movie with the highest advance ticket sales in Thailand in the last 20 years, grossing over 10 million baht on its opening day alone.

❗️Actor Bright Vachirawit announced that he is leaving GMMTV to start his own entertainment company.

❗️ It was revealed that the GMMTV2024 event will take place in October this year. Every year the company hosts an event where they announce their new project lineup for the upcoming year, including a trailer + a short Q&A with the respective cast. The event usually takes place in November or December. A GeminiFourth BL has already been confirmed by the company a few months back; rumors for other BL mains include PondPhuwin and JoongDunk, as well as a new GL couple. Further details are unknown.

Upcoming series & movies for September

👉🏻 Senior Love Me? Season 2 - September 1st (Thailand)

👉🏻 Naughty Babe - September 2nd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Venus in the Sky - September 2nd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Marry Go Round - September 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 The Promise: Honeymoon Lost and Found - September 9th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Our Story - September 9th (Philippines)

👉🏻 You Are Mine - September 15th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 Bump Up Business - September 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Right Time, Right You - September 17th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Kimi ni wa Todokanai - September 27th (Japan)

👉🏻 Absolute Zero - September 27th (Thailand)

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destiny-in-the-universe · 2 months ago

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two down, another to go.

This is going to a mix of about 4-5 different prompts and it’s going to be very much a doozy, esp. because of the fandom choice. It’s extremely late, and I’m not expecting anyone to see this until sometime tomorrow, but the fandom oddly enough is Cars. As in the Pixar movie!

It’ll be an extremely niche reader group but oh fucking well. This is what I’m fixated on writing apparently. For some explanation, it follows the most alt canon to ever be written but it is implied to take place following the events of Cars 2! Lightning is still a racer and at the top of his game, though things take an unexpected, sudden turn in this - since I just like to be mean when it comes to my favorites lmao which includes this boy. Also! Keep in mind everyone is human.

I will say he gets to go through it and is loosely inspired by a great series on Ao3 which I will link later if I can find. It’s definitely becoming its own multi-chaptered work though I’ll cover that later since I’ve no idea if people will be interested in that!

Read below the cut for more information about the Cars whump prompt!

Whumptober Event

Following an alternative canon, Lightning McQueen has returned for another year of racing in order to win the latest Piston Cup, but when things take an unexpected turn for the worse - will he be able to pick himself back up again?

The characters are, of course, humanized. Timeline wise, it’s supposed to take place after Cars 2, but presumably before Cars 3. There are a few key differences from the canon franchise however.

Cars AU Headcanons

I am not incredibly mean, so despite that my love for angst, suffering, and whump - Doc Hudson is not dead. Also because I’m a complete sucker for Doc’s dynamic with Lightning McQueen, and is a huge part for the incoming series/whump writing event.

Mater is very much Not Straight. He doesn’t have a label on himself, but after breaking things off with Holley Shiftwell - he has begun catching feelings for a certain someone. We’ll get to this later!

Mater is also Extremely Autistic and ADHD. You can’t convince me otherwise, holy shit

Lightning McQueen is so ADHD. This is canon now. I make the rules!

Sarge and Fillmore are in a committed relationship, and have been ever since the 1960’s. This is not center to the au I’m working on, but it’s also going to be referenced so,

Doc Hudson has mobility issues and uses a cane to help him walk. His crash won’t be a main focus, but yes, the cane is a mobility aid due to scarring from the incident in his youth!

Hurt Lightning McQueen means adoptive parent Doc Hudson. This is all you’re getting!

Finn and Holley might not appear in this installation, but they’ll probably get referenced in some way!

Lightning is an orphan. It’s unclear what happened to his parents, so all the people he has are from Radiator Springs.

While it’s not a major focus in this version, and is more in the past, I am very much a Harv basher. Have fun with this!

I’ll expand on this universe later, but the short version - Lightning deals with the aftermath of an incident during a race and the road to recovery is far from easy; at least he has his found family to help every step of the way. In other words, I traumatize Lightning for my own whump serving purposes. I’ll be in touch!

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stewy · 1 year ago

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what draws you to ten and martha so much? what about their dynamic has got you in such a chokehold?

hot sexy toxic couple with the most chemistry in the entire show. this is just a fact

Martha is the Doctor's doctor! She starts the show as a medical student in training on the Doctor's show. She then takes a "sabbatical" year with this alien who calls himself the Doctor, who actually gives her the best training any medical student could wish for. She actually is the Doctor for the entirety of their time in 1913 because Ten is simply not there. And then he is out of it again, and she saves the world (is the lead hero!) on her own. And the whole time, she looks after him. She teaches him how to be a doctor again after the events of Doomsday, and that's a low he never quite reaches again until after losing everything in Journey's End. I think Martha is the only character who leaves on her own terms (I have not finished season 9 yet, leave me be), and was actually there with the main objective to look after this guy, while also traveling the universe of course (but even then, looking after his loneliness was in her mind even by Gridlock, which is insane to think about). I find so much meaning in how she made him better and kinder, while he turned him into a de facto Doctor... and a soldier, something he is shown to be ashamed of for lifetimes to follow :]

Series 2 was particularly unbearable for me to watch because of Ten & Rose's CW show romance, but I've grown to see it as the point (delusional)? Nine regenerated into someone he thought Rose would be more attracted to (even though she was already crazy about him, lol), therefore -> Casanova David Tennant! Which. Fair. But also there was sooo much, ugh, immaturity surrounding whatever they had going on, it's like, I'm too old for this. And then it ends in such a tragic way, which immediately shatters Ten's view on humanity because, well, Rose was his humanity. So! In comes Martha, someone only a few years older than Rose but who had to grow up much faster than she ever did because there was no illusion of Great White Romance there: he told her from the go that it was her only trip, even though he spent the entire episode auditioning her, lmao. And their relationship develops so organically from there: he is intensely reluctant and closed off; but she is insistent and he talks about Gallifrey for the very first time (!) since the War. While she at first sees him as this wonderful alien god who can take her away from it all for a while, and then grows to become intensely protective (!) of him and the Sisyphean task of aiding to his loneliness. Martha sees firsthand, multiple times, how fallible and arrogant and selfish he is, but she stays! Because she believes she can make it better. And she does! But not in the way she thought she could. :( Anyway, I guess my point was that it develops so naturally? There is no teenage hesitance; they're honest with each other and you can actually witness what they want and get from each other. Which I believe every TV romance should be about. 🤷��‍♀️

Relating to the previous point, I don't think it's bad that she loved him "more" than he loved her the whole time they were together. I think there's an honesty in two people meeting at different times (lmao) in their lives; and Martha met him at a tragic moment for his character. And, yes, she makes it better, but I think people who can only see her other doctors treating her better (which is true) are sort of missing T/M's emotional journey, which is the most gratifying part of series 3 for me. Plus, we, viewers, will never love someone in a CW show way because that type of romance is simply not real! At least not in the adult world (but again, children's show yaddayadda).

i think they should have fucked nasty.

#audibly groaned when i saw this because like. how do i explain something i feel strongly about #ask #tenmartha #you can disagree with all this. just know you're wrong

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whumpty-dumpty-doo · 5 months ago

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Whumpmas in July 2024 - Day 1: (Re) Introduce Yourself!

This post is part of my participation in the 2024 @whumpmasinjuly event!

-----

Howdy, folks! I'm Deedoo! I've been a whump enjoyer for as long as I can remember, though I didn't know there was a term or community for it until somewhere in mid-2023, when I somehow stumbled across a whump fic, found the terms and tags, and the rest was history.

I'm a professionally trained artist who almost never draws (woops), though I sure do like to think about it. I got bitten hard by the writing bug a few years back, and that's been my main creative outlet for a while. I write all kinds of things, and am currently working on a (non-whump) fantasy series that I daydream about potentially publishing one day.

In terms of whump content, I have a WIP whump fic called "We Are TroubleD"! Right now there are several entries up, but they're miscellaneous entries written for a previous whump event that may or may not eventually find their ways into the proper canon story. I'm just having fun with it for now while I write the main story!

Here's a little more about me for those who might be interested:

❤️ Name: Deedoo

💚 Pronouns: she/her

🤍 Favorite season: Fall probably... I love the leaves, the colors on the trees, and of course Halloween! ... But ahhh, spring is so good too because you can go outside after a long cold winter and the flowers are blooming... It's so hard to pick just one season!

❤️ Average amount of sleep: 8 hours hopefully! My sleep schedule is all kinds of goofed up though haha

💚 Dream Job: Something where I can make art (or something that makes me feel creatively fulfilled), pays me well, and doesn't drive me into the ground due to exhaustion and/or long hours (beyond what I can handle).

🤍 Blog established date: Nov 23rd, 2023! Or at least that's when I reblogged my first ever post on here. I'm not quite sure how to check when I actually made this blog!

❤️ Username/blog meaning: I originally wanted to call my self "Whumpty-Dumpty" like "Humpty Dumpty", but that name was already taken, so I went with "Whumpy-Dumpty-Doo" like "Scooby-Doo", and specifically the show "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!"! That theme song frequently plays in my head because of this blog. That's also why the line in my profile asks "Who whumped you?". Now you can sing along with me!

💚 Hobbies: Drawing, crafting, writing, playing video games, watching youtube, and walking!

🤍 What you love about whump: The power dynamics, the struggles, the vulnerabilities, the comfort and care (I ultimately want the whumpees to have happy or at least neutral endings!), and the journey that the whumpees take to overcome, hold on, and survive their traumas. Things can get so emotional, and sometimes it's through the deepest and darkest horrors that you can see the brightest lights at the end of it all.

Plus, the community is so creative!! I love how so much of the whumpsphere is made up of original stories, characters, and art. So many people churn out consistently amazing stuff, and it blows me away.

... Also I'm a sucker for any character who is bound and gagged. It's a freaking weakness. Sue me lmao.

❤️ Anything else to add: I hope that everyone who reads this has a nice day!

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Please note that my blog is meant for an 18+ audience. There are things that I post and reblog that are mature in nature and can sometimes be NSFW and not suitable for minors.

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Tags: @whumpmasinjuly-archive

#wij24day1 #whumpmasinjuly2024 #whumpmas #whumpmas in july #deedoo original #whump intro #intro #about me #text post #whump event #whump events

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fluent-in-lesbianism · 2 years ago

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ok ok... so #1 thanks for blogging about GAP i loved it, and convinced my gay SIL to watch it and she keeps coming into my office to yell about it LMAO. BUT!! i know you were talking about other thai GL series this year? and i can't remember them all do you have a list somewhere i need them all. and by "i" i mean "we" and by "we" i mean me and my SIL lmao

You're welcome! I have a feeling I'll be crying over GAP for the rest of my life. You're welcome to join and bring your SIL over for the crying session as well 😭

Luckily for us, there are actually quite a few Thai gls in the works. I'll make a list below with links. One's currently airing, one's already aired (not GAP obvi), and the others are still in production:

1. Show Me Love (Airing now with English subs!) Summary: Meena, a small-town girl, moves to Bangkok to achieve her dreams. She chances across Cherlyn who asks her to join an agency to compete in the Miss Grand beauty pageant. Meena initially turns it down because she’s not interested. However, she agrees after receiving an offer of a large monthly sum throughout the competition. Meena’s journey for the crown begins and an unexpected romance with Cherlyn sparks.

2. Love of Secret (already aired and ready to watch) Summary: Panpan is a medical student with a dream of becoming an idol. She's forced to conceal that dream because her father is a famous surgeon who hopes his daughter will go on to become a doctor like himself. What's more, Panpan is concealing her relationship with Aitim, her girlfriend, best friend, and biggest fan.

3. 23.5 (THE most anticipated gl in herstory #MilkLove4Eva) Summary: Ongsa, a loner all her life, falls in love at first sight with the more popular Sun. However, with the fear of being rejected, she decides to approach Sun under the pseudonym "Earth". As Sun gets more and more curious about who Earth is and starts to fall for her, will Ongsa reveal herself to Sun? Check out Magic of Zero: Zero Photography (the first 4 parts are InkPa aka the same actresses who star in 23.5).

4. Reverse 4 You (ngl I'm really looking forward to this one) Summary: Jattawa seems like an ordinary law student, but she has the ability to control time. Her younger sister Vivi has the ability to see the future. Lately, though, Vivi's visions seem to be wrong. Therefore, Jattawa finds it easy to disbelieve Vivi's latest prediction that P'Four, her university senior with a bad reputation, is Jattawa's future lover.

5-8. Be Mine the Series Summary: Stay with me on this. There are 4 novels by Khun Phuying getting adapted into 4 different gls. Each gl will follow one main couple and have their own plot line, but the gls all happen in the same Be Mine universe. So the characters all know each other or are related to others in the adaptions and have history (like The L Word but hopefully not as poorly written). The first to air will be More & More (Tawan & Winnie), then Be My Baby (Sitang & Jaojay), followed by Be My Sugar (Perth & Piphim), and finally Be My Boo (Phapie & Jaokha). M&M's supposedly airing sometime in 2023. Fingers crossed the scheduling sticks!

9. Love in the Rain Summary: Sevena is a singer and dancer in the group SKIU. To those she's not close with, she comes across as arrogant. It's in the world of gaming that she can be herself under the name Mei Li. Events in the gaming world come to change her real life. Returning, Sevena finds that when the rain comes, all sounds come to a stop save for the voice of one person. Part 1 in the SKIU series.

10. The Perfect Song Summary: Mirin will come to make Iris able to compose love songs again. Part 2 of the SKIU series.

11. Step Up Summary: No summary yet but it's part 3 of the SKIU series. I'm assuming these are like the Be Mine series in that they're all interconnected and occur in the same universe.

12. About Galaxy Summary: Idk but I found a casting video for it. It's another novel adaptation. If you can find an English translation for the novel, hmu so I can add it here please :)

13. The Last Case Summary: Nobody knows what this is about, not even them! *ba dum tss* It's still in the casting phase and probably won't air for awhile. But from what I'm seeing and reading, it's gonna be the first Thai gl thriller and probably scare the shit outta us.

Also, the author of GAP sold rights to at least 3 other books which are being adapted into gls: Us, Irresistible, and Dream.

#Anonymous #look at Thailand giving us enough wlw content #that I'm forced to use a 'keep reading' to prevent making an absurdly long post 🥹😭#ngl I fucks with Thailand #y'all really out here giving the gays everything we ever wanted #just went down a wlw trope list and made a gl based on each one lmaooo

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noteguk · 2 years ago

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how things have been and where do we go from here: a very needed and overdue update

Hello, everyone! A few hours ago I made my first post in a little over a year on this blog. The way I left was very abrupt and I pretty much ghosted everyone, so this is a post explaining why that happened and what are my plans moving forward. I’ll be as honest as I can and, before the cut, there is a shortened version of events and a quick Q&A of the things most people care about. If you don’t wanna read any more than that, it’s totally fine!

So, to keep things simple: a lot of things happened at once and, combining with a growing dissatisfaction with my writing, I just… deleted tumblr off my phone and decided to give myself a few months off. But one thing led to another, I had a few too many personal tragedies, med school got the best of me (which I finished last month, yay!) and I didn’t come back. Simple as that: life got in the way.

I tried to write here and there, but I was completely burned out and nothing came out properly. What was once an escape to me turned into something I was forcing myself to do and, along with my distancing from the fandom and BTS as a whole, I just didn’t have any inspiration. Hopefully that cloud has passed now. So here are my plans for this blog as of now.

Bad Influence Series: as previously stated, bad karma is the last part of the ongoing series timeline. I promised a final epilogue and that’s something that I’ll try my best to deliver, since so many people have devoted themselves to this couple. Being very frank, it’s not amongst my plans to post any more drabbles after that. And I’ll try to post a new work before I come back to BI.

Other stories: I came back with the prime intention to write again, but I must say it will not be as frequent as it used to be — not only for time management reasons, but because I don’t wanna burn myself out. I’ll take things slowly and try to focus more on shorter stories (so no more series for now), intercalating that with bigger ones. By the time I left I was pretty much posting 5k+ fics every week, which will not happen again (I don’t even have the brain for that honestly lmao)

Is this a definite return? Well… I don’t know. This is a risky attempt at most, honestly. I’ll try my best and I’ll start writing again, but there’s always a chance that this phase has passed for me and nothing will come out of this. Regardless, even if that is the case, I won’t vanish like last time, and I’ll make a proper goodbye post. I miss and love this community very much and I admit I’m shameful of the way I left. This blog has been a home to me and you guys have turned into such good friends, I really miss it all!

For those who want to know the details, read below the cut. For those who don’t, thank you for coming this far and thank you for still caring about my silly little blog. You guys have supported me through it all and I’m extremely thankful for it.

If I were to make a list of everything that happened this last year, we’d stay here for a very long time. Around the time that I left, things have started getting really complicated on my personal sphere: I started working on my closing thesis for med school, started my last year of it, had a huge falling out with my best friend and lost someone I loved very much. All that combined with my previously stated frustration with writing, plus my decaying mental health, it wasn’t surprising looking back that I freaked out and left the way I did.

My main issue with writing was something that hasn’t really changed, that’s why I’m hesitant to claim this as a comeback: I started feeling really weird about writing about real people. That has never been an issue before, and it’s not a moral attack against writers here or anything like that. I just started feeling strange about it, and I couldn’t shake that feeling off. Maybe it was just a side effect of being burned out, because it wasn’t as if OCs or anime stories were coming out any easier. So I gave myself time. And I hope that is enough.

The plan was to come back around July 2022, but I had a very traumatic death in my nuclear family and I stopped functioning completely. Luckily I have very amazing people in my life who helped me through the hardest parts of it, but, still, I guess it’s easy to see why writing wasn’t in the forefront of my mind.

Other than that — gurl u have no idea about the shit I’ve done lmaooo. I worked six months delivering babies??? Which was crazy??? I also studied under amazing professionals in a neonatal ICU, participated in so many surgeries and even published two papers. Your girl has been BUSY, I’ll tell you that. This past year has been one of immense personal and academic growth and, overall, I’m really happy about it. I also met the love of my life but that’s a story for another day.

So, again: my plans moving forward. Simply and objectively: try my best and hope to succeed. Once again, I miss you guys so much, and I admit I sneakily came back once or twice to see how things have been and all the messages I’ve gotten in the meantime. I’m flabbergasted and grateful at the continuous support you’ve thrown my way and it’s one of the main reasons why I decided to give this blog another go. So, yeah. Let’s see how this goes!

#also shout out to that girl on Twitter who randomly dragged me for vanishing and made me come back yesterday lmaoooo #not all heroes wear capes #anywhoooooo let’s see how this pans out #update

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just-somehuman · 2 years ago

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In the AMA, the devs announced that Lesson 81 onwards will be released in Nightbringer. Og OM will continue to be updated with events but not with the main story. Dunno how I feel about this 💀

I play tons of otome games that have finished their main story and continue to update it years later, so maybe og OM is safe. Plus it's making a ton of money so-

It seems that the devs had always planned to release Nightbringer. The Ruri Tunes thing is a feature in Nightbringer, so when they released that beta testing, they were seeing how their fanbase was reacting to the rhythm game in preparation for Nightbringer. The release of Mephisto, Raph and Thirteen was also preparation for Nightbringer since they play a big role in it from what we can see in the trailer.

If I remember correctly, the devs were planning on ending og OM at Lesson 20, but they gained so much attention and made so much money that they made the rest of the lessons. Whereabout during that time they decided on creating Nightbringer is unknown, but they definitely had it planned for a very long time. Hell, a few weeks after announcing it, they started the count down till its release 💀

Y'know, since Lesson 81+ will be in Nightbringer, the devs can't actually shut down og OM. That would lead to too many plotholes and half the story missing. I have a couple speculations as to why they made a second game, so here they are:

1. Profit. A sequel game to their biggest money-making game is sure to bring in twice as much profit if the same fanbase starts playing the second game as well. OM currently has 10M players I think, so you can imagine how much money they make.

2. Size. OM was going to end at Lesson 20 (that's why there's that whole dramatic credit scene lmao) so it was never designed to get this big. 80 lessons is a lot of damn data uploaded onto the game, so a second game was created likely because they are planning on releasing a similar amount of content that would have caused issues if loaded on the original game. Too much data can cause bugs and errors and crashing. Too many of these issues and the player count would lessen. To keep the player count rising, the second game was required to ensure the first game doesn't have many errors apart from the usual few that happen every 2 events or so.

3. Advertising/hype. A new game in the already loved Obey Me series would mean that more collaboration opportunities for Nightbringer would open. This means money. Lots of money. So the hype that Nightbringer brings is one of the many benefits for the company.

Okay, I'm done rambling. I don't know why I even rambled like this lmao. Maybe this clarifies some stuff for some people? Idk 😭😭 I'll see you guys in Nightbringer then!

#obey me shall we date #obeyme #obey me #obey me masters #obey me nightbringer #obey me!#obey me thirteen #obey me mephistopheles #obey me mephisto #obey me raphael #obey me 13

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swordfright · 1 year ago

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YOUR FIRST LORE STREAM WAS LN4? That's actually insane, I'm amazed you weren't just confused out of your mind. But it's true, every LN stream is a masterpiece.

The LN streams were actually what got me into c!Quackity! Before that I barely paid him any attention at all. It's weird to look back on—he was almost relegated to being a side character, despite how important he was in the story. But that's what made LN so shocking.

I wasn't, like, super deep in the actual fandom at that point, but I know everyone was, um. Surprised! I actually remember a few of the ccs themselves saying they didn't like how dark the story was getting or how produced it was. The main discourse I remember was the usual "it's still not worse than exile!" stuff, but there was probably so much more that I was blissfully unaware of.

(The funny thing is my first lore streams were when Wilbur first joined, so I watched the whole L'Manberg/Pogtopia arcs from his perspective. Let's just say it somewhat influenced my views on the story! And not in a good way!)

Sorry for clogging up your inbox lmao

I was definitely confused, but I did have a lorehead friend there with me explaining a lot of backstory/immediate context (at like x3 speed of course), so I wasn't as confused as I could have been! Lmao

Honestly it was really exciting, confusion and all. Despite coming super late in the overarching story, I do think anywhere in the LN series is a really good gateway to DSMP precisely because the amount of effort cc!Q put into it was like a guarantee that you would be likely to keep watching. And then jailbreak was my second stream, which just absolutely blew my mind. I remember sitting there watching the viewer counter tick up and up until it was several times the population of the city I lived in at the time. Insane! Technoblade really did that!

I confess I am kinda jealous that your first lore streams were so early. DSMP is very unique in that the barrier for entry got higher the longer the story continued, because if you arrived years late you'd have quite literally thousands of hours of lore content to back-watch. I've seen all the major events from the L'Manberg/Pogtopia era, but there are still SO many POVs I have yet to see. Also, the impression I get is that that era was super influential insofar as setting the tone went, and that's not really something you can experience if you aren't watching live/chronologically.

At any rate - FASCINATING to hear that c!Quackity wasn't really perceived as an important character until LN1. I've read so much analysis of Q during the Schlatt presidency and dethronement eras but a lot of it was written retrospectively, after the LN series started airing. Ngl it is so baller (imo) when a perceived "side character" does something so unhinged that they elevate themself to main cast status immediately, he was so real for that. I would have gone INSANE watching that happen live.

#also you're never clogging my inbox!!#i love it when ppl talk to me i've been begging ppl to talk to me for like a year #asks

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blackhairedjjun · 1 year ago

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flowers of every color | writer's behind the scenes!

some stuff about my writing process for the fic! be warned that if you haven't caught up yet, there are spoilers

tagging people who liked and/or replied my interest check post: @agustdiv1ne @mazeinthemoon @txtistheloml @kyaneosprincess @teletubbiesssss @banggyu0308

these are pretty long so i'm putting them behind a read-more hehe

story planning:

while we've gotten plenty of yeonjun in prince outfits over the years, the main inspiration for this fic is yeonjun's opening outfit in act: sweet mirage! i saw that and was like "oh man he would be SO DASHING as a prince 😍" and just went from there

if you've been here from the start, you might know that i didn't originally plan make a series! i just word-vomited the first chapter (well, what became the first chapter) directly into tumblr's post editor because the thought of prince!yeonjun wouldn't leave me alone, especially after seeing a few other prince/commoner and prince/servant fics floating around lol. chapter 1 is also the only chapter made using tumblr's legacy editor rather than their new one (which is also why the cover pics are one big edited photo and not 3 separate photos, i couldn't figure out how to get 3 photos to line up in the legacy editor).

i honestly did not expect people to read chapter 1 but they did!! and they liked the idea!! plus even after writing chapter 1 i STILL couldn't get the idea out of my head so i decided to write it as a full story. i've written plenty of oneshots before under my (non-kpop) ao3 account, but this is my first multichapter series! so i opened google docs and made a quick outline of the story's main events.

the original outline for foec had 6 chapters + 2 endings, but as i wrote the story, i realized that more detail and scenes were needed than what i initially outlined! chapters 3 and 4 (ball preparations + the ball / gazebo dance scene) were supposed to be one chapter. chapters 5 and 6 (y/n hanging out with the chois + getting caught + punishment + intro of arranged marriage) were also supposed to be one chapter. chapters 7-9 (end of friendship, reconciling with soogyu, y/n & beomgyu talk) were also supposed to be one chapter!

i actually started writing the bad ending first before the good ending -- my reasoning was that if i were the reader, i would want to save the good ending for last so that i could end the series on a positive note. i was very surprised when people voted for the good ending first in the poll LMAO also as far as i'm concerned, both endings are canon in a "branching timeline" kind of way. they are both the real ending! i do have a soft spot for the good ending but also i love angst too much to not write a bad ending haha.

honestly most of the story beats from my original outline made it into the final fic! the biggest change has to do with queen hwayoung's and princess ajin's roles in the story (more on that below).

character notes:

when i was first brainstorming i really wanted to include both taehyun and hueningkai in the story as well, but i struggle with writing ensemble casts and choi line + y/n (+ the supporting characters in the castle) were already enough for me to handle. soobin and beomgyu were the easiest for me to incorporate into the story since they have the same last name and i could go "oh in this universe they're part of the same royal house hence the same last name" HAHA. i do imagine that the house of choi princes are also friends with tyunning (kai does get alluded to in chapter 9), but they're off doing their own adventures.

some of little moments in the fic were inspired by actual things txt have done in variety shows! yeonjun, y/n, soobin, and beomgyu playing cards in chapter 5 is based off to do ep. 53 where they also play cards. soogyu playing badminton in chapter 8 is inspired by gbgb era idol human theater where they played a little badminton by the pool. and there are a lot more small character quirks that are inspired by gifs or fancams i've seen of them haha.

queen hwayoung and princess ajin were originally not supposed to be part of the story! my original idea was the have the arranged marriage subplot be heard secondhand by through advisers so that it feels like an invisible force pulling yeonjun away from y/n. but i needed to make the threat of the arranged marriage stronger and ended up writing the scene with queen hwayoung in it for chapter 6.

princess ajin especially was a late addition -- originally she was never supposed to appear at all, never visiting the castle and only speaking through her mom / royal advisors, so there was that threat of yeonjun being married off to someone he's never even met. but after looking through the feedback of chapter 6 i realized that i kinda-sorta accidentally made setup for her oops. people were wondering what she'd be like, and it would feel too anticlimactic to never have her appear in the story, so i wrote her in. which i don't regret because i did enjoy writing her big scene in chapter 10!

speaking of which: a friend of mine asked what happens to princess ajin, and honestly i wanted to give her proper closure too! but i couldn't find a way to fit it into the story in a way that felt natural. if you ask me though, she gains some level of political independence from her mom (represented by her visiting the castle in the good ending). she still marries for political reasons, to a prince or nobleman who is also in it for the politics, and at first they treat their marriage as a business partnership. eventually they grow close and form a devoted "i'd do anything for you" bond -- not necessarily romantic in nature, but caring in its own way. (i'm describing a queerplatonic relationship basically)

tbh i don't have the energy to write another multichapter right now, but i would love to see spinoff fics for soobin and beomgyu or even taehyun and kai as princes in their own kingdoms! so if you're reading this and you want to do it, you have my blessing <3

flower notes:

while some chapter titles were planned around a specific flower representing the events & progression of the story, others were not (because of the chapter splits i talked about earlier) and i just chose whatever flower was in it lol. the planned chapter title flowers are: yellow roses (ch2), pink roses (ch4), sunflowers (ch5), striped carnations (ch7) , purple hyacinths (ch9), red roses (ch10), daffodils (GE), and white lilies (BE). the unplanned title flowers are: irises (ch1), lilies of the valley (ch3), red and purple zinnias (ch6), sweet peas (ch8).

i mostly used this website as a reference for the language of flowers, BUT i also double check with one or two other websites to make sure i'm getting an established flower meaning and not something made up! when i started fic planning i made a list of flowers with meanings that fit the main story beats and character progressions, then picked the ones with the most established meanings (i.e. supported by multiple "language of flowers" websites) and/or the ones that were appropriate for the growing season.

even though i wrote a disclaimer not to pay attention to botanical accuracy re: seasonal flowering times, i originally envisioned the fic to take place over the spring. then when it got longer, i imagined it taking place over spring and summer, so i tried (keyword: tried) to choose seasonally appropriate flowers or flowers that bloom year-round. this is hard for me because i live in a tropical country. i have never seen a lot of these flowers in person because they don't grow in the climate here, and i have no idea what a four-season year feels like. so i decided not to put time-of-year markers in the fic and leave the season ambiguous, and added that disclaimer about the flowers' accuracy.

an example of this: chapter 9 is named after purple hyacinths. i first decided on this back when the story was only supposed to take place during the spring, since hyacinths are a spring flower. i considered naming it after hydrangeas because they mean something like "thank you for understanding" (i.e. y/n going "thank you for understanding what a hard position i'm in" to yeonjun), and also because they're one of my favorite flowers. but i wasn't sure about their seasonal appropriateness since some sources said that they bloom during early summer so i changed it to hyacinths. BUT THEN the fic got long and i started imagining that the later chapters take place in the summer SO the hyacinths ended up being seasonally inappropriate after all! and hydrangeas would have been more appropriate! especially since txt literally has a song called hydrangea love out aarghhh noooo but anyway it is what it is

other flowers that didn't make the cut + their meanings: sweet william (gallantry), alstroemeria (friendship or devotion), freesia (friendship, thoughtfulness), white tulips (forgiveness, consideration, respect), thyme (courage, strength)

other notes:

the key lime pie in chapter 6 is based on a real pie that i ate at my friend's house when i visited her there and i thought it was the most delicious thing i have ever eaten. in the original draft it was a lemon tart!

i wanted to keep this series strictly sfw, but i did consider making both the good and bad endings have suggestive, fade-to-black scenes. for the good ending, the suggestive part would have involved y/n in yeonjun's room the night after their speech / before waking up together. for the bad ending, it would have happened when yeonjun visits y/n's quarters. i didn't write them bc i... am not good with anything suggestive or nsfw klsadjfklasjd

I COMPLETELY FORGOT BUT Y/N'S FATHER WAS ALSO IN THE AUDIENCE FOR THEIR SPEECH IN THE GOOD ENDING... i have no excuse for not writing him in other than I Forgot. i am so sorry but please imagine he was there

that's all i can think of for now! if you have other questions about foec or my writing process please please feel free to reply to this post or send an ask <3

#fic:flowers of every color #violet talks

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growling · 6 months ago

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Not even at the Top Three reasons I've mainly left the wc fandom and instead just do my own thing on my own tag, but incredibly frustrating nonetheless. How wc tumblr just treats people making their own fix-it aus for fun.

I don't know how it is for other fandoms, but the amount of people making their own rewrites of the wc series is.... massive. Basically every single guy in here if free to have a go at it if they want, and nobody cares, it's basically everybody here that makes up their own version of canon because the actual books are widely agreed upon to, well... *gestures at the misogyny, ableism, racism ex. the tribe, casual fatphobia, iffy at best portrayal of abuse, terrible and lazy writing in general* kinda suck.

it is kinda considered Normal in here, since it's so common, and as result, people just got... Really entitled? dare i say downright unhinged about other people's silly AUs?

One aspect that I feel is the most prevalent in this, that literally nobody talks about because of course, is the absolute condemn of anything realistic or "uncool". I remember there was that one post floating around a few months (years?) back, that basically said "[quoting. im lazy] I think the main problem with warriors rewrites is they get so bogged down in ‘trying to make sense’ or ‘make them act like actual cats’ is they forget to make things COOL AS SHIT. Like yes your bloodclan has 200 pages of foreshadowing but is it still COOL AS SHIT? (...) If your warrior cats rewrite wouldn’t result in 200 scourge animations of him being cool as shit if it was the canon material you have failed." and just for clarification I do not have anything against the person that posted it, I do not think they were being intentionally rude in any way. But. Both before it there was a problem, and after it got passed around enough I think people got the Wrong Idea. Or maybe the Right One idk man, and just found a way to describe how they felt about some of the rewrite projects going on.

The fandom is largely ranging from dismissing to outright hostile towards people making aus/rewrites/other fics where the Clans are more realistic or have more rigid naming rules, for example, ones where the cats act more like cats, many events don't really get to happen or are changed due to just not working in a more realistic universe, traditional and similiar naming systems, accurate genetics, so on so on. And I do admit there was once a problem where those people who prefer more realistic styles, especially the traditional namers, were pushing it onto others and acting really mean towards people just looking to have fun and not really pay attention to any naming rules; however, it was a long time ago, and has mostly died down. Nowadays, all the trad namers I know of are actually pretty chill, and there's very few of them. (Like, we are dying over there lmao the numbers are going down every year)

However, the fandom just, really has not moved on from those times (and I'm asking, was that really that prevalent back then? or are these people just exaggerating as always?) and continues to be just.... really bitter of tradnamers. Constantly convinced that they are "ruining their fun" just by having their own spaces somewhere. One blog of the more traditional kind that I followed got sent an ask somewhere along the lines of "oh yeah sure your fanfic is 'realistic', but would it have people make sick amvs about it in the 2010s???" and I just. Knew where they got the idea. Not even exclusive to just in traditional system, but people tend to get very weird towards people that choose to change up parts of cats' names they don't like or find unsuited for their au? for example, changing Longtail's name to Lizardtail because it's odd for a queen to just name their son longkit, or Runningwind to something different all together because they find the prefix "Running-" really silly to name a baby or because the suffix "-wind" is already the name of another Clan in canon, or changing the names of some other cats just because they don't suit them or the circumstances behind them are iffy to them. (I personally find it pretty fun, and has renamed a considerable deal of cats in my own: ex. Jayfeather -> Jaywing, Longtail -> Lizardtail, Loudbelly -> Minkbelly, Clawface -> Clawedface, Hollyleaf -> Hollythorn)

Apparently, it's "boring", or ruining other people's fun somehow despite them not needing to read them? Lyrical namers (opposite of traditional, if anybody needs an explanation: tradnaming assigns hard defined rules to the names that clan cats can have, while lyrnaming does not have any rules and is about just naming them whatever you like if you think it is cool or sounds pretty) act like they're constantly being persecuted en masse by the Mean Traditionalists that brutally force them to conform, while.... the lyrnamers are actually the overall majority, while tradnamers are now pretty uncommon and usually literally just mind their own business. It's "let people have fun" but only for the things that you personally find fun, don't even dare to like to have rules or any of these things, it's not like any people in particular actually find creating their own suffix meaning systems personally fun or anything, they just want to name the cats ugly/boring shit because they're killjoys. Yeagh

Same with people changing cats' designs to be more realistic simply because they prefer it that way, who then get vagueposted about and called "uncreative". A very small percent of artists actually know real life cat genetics, and none of them, at this current time (people were very different say, like, 10+ years ago in the fandom. things tend to change) i have ever heard of apparently forcing anybody upon these things.

Not every silly warrior cats au of some random 16 year old with like 12 followers needs to be Cool to your near impossible standards. "Let people have fun" means also letting people have fun that you personally don't understand or don't find fun personally. I get so anxious whenever I force myself to word anything and then end up forgetting half of it in the middle of it so if I didn't include something or if a sentence looks weird then that may be why. But basically, what I'm saying is: can't we just hold paws and sing masterpiece theatre iii by marianas trench for fucks sakeee can we calm the fuck down

#every time someone complains about people changing the names of cats in their aus I add another rename to the pile #anyway im so glad im not gonna post my own in the main tags lmaoooo get fucked. im ONLY gonna subject my non-wc followers #and mutuals to them. and to the few actual cool wc blogs that still follow me: hiiii :33 #mine #seweryn's wc tag #anybody has a similiar experience or want to add on to this??#ok to reblog at first but. if it gets many notes i might Get Scared and turn them off so ig grab it while its still allowed!!!

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iiyanadesu · 8 months ago

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I just watched Gundam Seed Freedom! This is a movie full of cringe and fun(ny) moments lmao.

If you need tiny spoilers (which is kinda big too but eh): The movie is set in C.E. 73, i.e. about a year or two after events in Gundam Seed Destiny. A new group called the Foundation tries to pursue the Destiny Plan made by late PLANT Chairman Gilbert Dullindal. Shenanigans ensue.

Major spoil points and rants under cut.

Being a former fan of Gundam Seed, who is more into the people than the machines, I find this movie delightful. And cringe. And fun. Basic plot is still about war, destroying lives whether soldiers or civilians, groups protecting their loved ones, etc. Back then I was a fujoshi (maybe I still am) so the interactions I love the most are between main character Kira Yamato (first name last name basis) and his best friend Athrun Zala.

I was Athrun's fan.

For those who are curious, Gundam Seed series is about war between 2 factions of humanity: one is genetically-enhanced human beings called the Coordinators based in space (the base is called PLANT, the military is called ZAFT), and the other is non-genetically-enhanced Naturals based on Earth (military is called... Earth-something, I forgot). At first the war is just between these two factions, and Kira and Athrun were on opposite sides despite both being Coordinators (Kira was with Earth military, Athrun was with ZAFT), but as time goes they end up defecting from their military groups to form a third party wanting peace between both races.

SEED is a special trait that some Coordinators have; they become basically invincible in battles. It's like The Zone. SEED mode.

Enough for the introduction. Let's go!

1. The movie is set in C.E. 73 (C.E. means Cosmic Era). Like I said earlier, a group called the Foundation is trying to follow the Destiny Plan made by late Gilbert Dullindal.

2. What is Destiny Plan? Destiny Plan is a... idk, doctrine? Not sure. An order to assign each and every person in the world different jobs based on their genetics. But it's one-sided; Coordinators are genetically enhanced in everything (looks, intelligence, battle prowess) so they will surely get good jobs while Naturals may or may not get good ones. So battle-powerful Kira and Athrun, and their politically-powerful girlfriends Lacus Clyne and Cagalli Yula Athha, join forces to stop that plan.

3. A year later, Lacus is appointed Chairman of PLANT. Cagalli is the Prime Minister of Orb Nation. Together with a few other countries, they form an alliance called... I forgot lol

4. A new nation called Foundation ruled by Queen Aura wants to join forces with the alliance. However it's a trap; they wanted to lure Lacus away from the alliance. Their plan caused the relationship between Kira and Lacus to waver.

5. Add to it a lil b*tch called Agnes also likes Kira, and since Kira is a non-confrontational person Agnes attacks him with words, saying Lacus is not suited with him. This b*tch knows nothing, but maybe because Kira hasn't really said "I love you" to Lacus that he's kinda... shaken? What

6. Ok there's a former enemy-turned-follower named Shinn Asuka and his girlfriend(?) Lunamaria Hawke. They are both ZAFT soldiers. Shinn used to hate Kira so much because he thought Kira killed his ex-girlfriend Stellar Loussier (an Earth soldier). Turned out Kira was trying to stop Stellar from rampaging; her death was unintentional. This info is important later on.

7. The Foundation has a battle team called the Black.. Uh, whatever and know Agnes the... uh, Moonlight Valkyrie (err...). They tried to engage in swordfight with Kira, but Kira isn't very proficient in swordfight (he was a civilian thrown into war because of his mecha programming skills). So Shinn (a trained soldier) offers to do it on Kira's stead, and lasts for a while before defeated.

8. The Foundation's Prime Minister, whose full name I already forgot, only remembering Tao, kinda fell for Lacus. So this Tao guy somehow managed to insert himself into Lacus' memories, saying that he's more fitting with her instead of Kira. Drama ensues. It was super cringe I went 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

9. Turned out that Tao has some ulterior motives with Lacus. Apparently Lacus and Tao are both created by Queen Aura. They are a race more superior than the Coordinator: the Honda Accordion 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Ok, they call themselves the Accords.

10. The Accords have the ability to hack into a Coordinator's mind and control them. They can also use telepathy. So they managed to hack Kira's mind, causing him to stray from his supposed mission, leading to the Black Ops thingy to launch nuclear missiles against civilians and the entire alliance's battleforce in an attempt to frame Kira of massacre.

11. Oh, I didn't mention before, but the alliance's battleforce consists of Kira and Athrun's friends. They're called the Archangel based on the ship they work on, but the Archangel is damaged from the chaos.

12. Kira is almost killed by the Black Ops before a saviour arrives: Athrun! I was squealing happily when he appeared lmao Athrun rescued Kira.

13. Lacus boarded the Foundation's ship, so when she heard Kira went rampage she did not believe. Tao wanted Kira dead. When they heard the alliance got obliterated in the nuclear missile attack, Lacus passed out. Meanwhile, b*tch was picked up by the Black Ops; Kira's rejection was too much for her to handle that she defected. Damn b*tch.

14. Kira was all gloomy and told his team he was entirely at fault for not being strong enough, and rambled on and on (it was cringe to hear it really, I was already wishing for Athrun to slap some sense into him) and Athrun went and punched him. lmaoooooo gj Athrun 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Athrun was super annoyed - just tell us what you want, we can help you out, you're not fighting alone damn it! Kira said he wanted to talk to Lacus.

15. With most of their machines destroyed, Team Archangel had to resort to stealing ZAFT's ship the Millennium. But not only the Millennium's captain is super cool with it, they also provided Gundams! Shinn is happy to get his Destiny back (it was damaged in the battle against Kira in the last war), Kira gets his Strike Freedom Gundam repaired, Lunamaria gets Impulse, while the war-seasoned Athrun gets... a red Zaku. (Athrun is infamous for having destroyed all his Gundams - Saviour, Justice, Infinite Justice... 😂🤣😂🤣)

16. But even then they deploy a trap. Athrun uses Strike Freedom to bait the Foundation into thinking it's Kira. Kira uses a machine with transparent ability to sneak in. (After Kira successfully retrieved Lacus, they swapped places.)

17. Ok lalala, battle ensues. One of the Black Ops member Sh.. forgot his name, let's call him Shalala engaged against Athrun and tries to hack into his mind, but Athrun imagined Cagalli naked, trying to kiss him 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 Apparently Shalala has no love experience and was caught off-guard lmao (Meanwhile, Cagalli who is remote-controlling Athrun's Zaku be like "wtf Athrun??? ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄")

18. One of the other Black Ops members tried to hack into Shinn's mind, but Shinn's mind was protected by Stellar's spirit, who turned into a monster 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 The Black Ops were like, "omg this kid's darkness is so intense!" But Shinn is like, "???" Stay that way, Shinn.

19. After taking Lacus back into Millennium, Lacus asks Captain Murrue to let her send Strike Freedom's METEOR set to Kira personally. But. Her suit was too skintight unlike other girls who have some kind of paddings; you can practically see her boobs and butt cleavages wtf is with that design. Who designed that suit? It's cringe af.

20. Strike Freedom with METEOR controlled by both Kira and Lacus in SEED mode is freaking OP. Enough said. Befitting of Kira's nickname J*sus-kun.

21. Not said before, but now I'm saying it: the whole war is the Millennium team trying to stop the Foundation from attacking Orb Nation using the all-powerful, formerly ZAFT's super cannon, the Requiem.

22. T.M. Revolution's METEOR plays during the entire Strike Freedom + METEOR entrance. Nostalgic. I forgot part of the lyrics, but I still sang along.

23. Once war ended, Kira and Lacus strip themselves naked standing on the beach, holding hands and kissing. I was like, "What the hey?? Yameteeeeee" (at them being stark naked) These kids are not afraid of getting sand onto their bodies and genitals I guess ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

24. There are no mid or post-credit scenes.

25. And yeah the ending is that the entire Foundation team dies, Team Millennium and Orb Nation won, Kira and Lacus both frolicking stark naked at the beach. Oh yeah, b*tch was disarmed by Lunamaria for insulting Shinn. The end lmao

26. Bonus: Kira still loves belts.

27. Bonus 2: Athrun is in serious need of a fashion coordinator. He can pull off uniforms, but casual clothes... err...

28. There's a cameo of this one-eyed guy from Gundam Seed. I forgot his name, but what I do remember is that he used to have a girlfriend named Aisha. Why I remember non-plot details but can't even remember the main enemies' names is beyond me lol

30. Missing info: At one point Tao was pissed because he wanted Lacus but Lacus loves Kira, so he almost SA'd her. (Pushed her onto bed and slid hand trying to rip her dress.) Luckily Tao was distracted with the news that Kira is still alive and is coming at him, so Tao stopped and went to stop Kira from approaching base.

#gundam seed freedom spoilers #gundam seed freedom #gundam seed #gundam seed spoilers

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